Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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