I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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