Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
