I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
