Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Mom said you looked used
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize