You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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