he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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