i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize