apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
