about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
