I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
