I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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