It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you made out with another girl for some wings
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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