Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
