using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
