the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
