My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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