Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
