I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
handjob tips. give me some.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
