you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
