we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
