her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize