Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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