I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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