try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize