Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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