I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
