Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize