Don't you send me to vm
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
