i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
