i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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