worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
