I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
