K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
