Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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