you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
