So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
