Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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