He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize