Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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