Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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