dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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