Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
