I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize