Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
