His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i believe in u and ur pee
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