me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
