that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
