dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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