M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
