i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
