4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize