you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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