Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
