He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
