I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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