Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
