Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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