Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize