break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize