guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
