im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
