Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
