im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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