my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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