What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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