is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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