I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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