how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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