Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize