he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
