is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
