sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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